The Breath Letter - #17
Dear Breather,
Happy New Year!
As this is the first Breath Letter of 2024, I wanted to share a selection of lessons and observations from facilitating over 200 sessions last year.
Writing these letters has been an absolute joy, so thank you for reading them and responding. It’s great to hear some of it resonates.
I’ve also collated all these learnings into a 4hr workshop which will happen this January, more about that in the Experiences section. And the video course is about to launch soon…
So! Let’s have a look at the take aways:
The (ab) "Normal" State
Feeling constantly tired, on the edge of overwhelm, no time or energy to socialise; all accompanied by a sense of numbness and a head that won’t calm down.
This came up in almost every session whether it was with entrepreneurs, freelancers, corporates or individuals who wanted support.
These symptoms are all clear signs of an overwhelmed nervous system, or as one colleague called it “Functional Freeze / Brain Taxi Mode”. A chronically sympathetically dominant state.
The worrying part: it being perceived as normal.
I clearly remember one participant saying “It feels good to know we are all on the Titanic and I’m not the only one”
Though I fully understand this outlook and no one is at fault here on an individual lesson I do believe it’s important not to normalise or accept this. There are other ways of being…
Safety governs all
There is no growth without a sense of safety. Period.
Where there is a lack of safety you will find disconnection, to the self, others and the world around us.
Most of my work this year focused on cultivating a sense of safety, which requires slowing down.
Muscles grow during recovery, not during workout.
So help your body feel safe and it’ll take over from there.
The 3 Phases of Breathwork - most skip the first 2 phases.
The Breathwork process consists of 3 phases:
1) Awareness: What am I feeling?
2) Understanding: What does that say about how I am?
3) Intervention: Based on what I feel and understand about myself, what breathwork exercise do I need now?
Most people skip straight to phase 3 and start to do breathing exercises, cold dips, and many other interventions that promise the world without actually understanding why and if this is indeed what they need.
The irony here is that when we do apply step 1 and 2, there’s often no need anymore for intervention.
”Emotions and feelings don’t need to be resolved, they simply want to be acknowledged”
The Myth of Belly Breathing
“But I’m supposed to breath into my belly?! Right?!”
Well…yes and no.
I actually saw a lot of clients who benefited a lot from bringing movement to the ribcage as well.
The breath is a very dynamic process, which includes movement in both the ribs and abdominal area. For many, breathing into the front of the chest can lead to quite an emotional release, deeper breathing and it seems to also connect to self-confidence.
Slow and steady
Consistently coming back to the practice, and not rushing the process.
Slowly is holy, that’s how the nervous system works.
Don’t look for a silver bullet or big catharsis but simply keep showing up gently.
That’s where the magic happens.
Entry Points
Breathwork is just one of many routes to insights.
This year I’ve added a lot of additional tools which can help people get to certain places where the breath won’t take them.
Shaking, movement, touch, boundaries, relationships, constellations, object work..
From there it’s for the individual to make the transition from goal to tool:
Starting to find their own route to insight through alternative entry points into their experience.
Radical Self Compassion
This is sometimes an incredibly difficult lesson to accept, but in essence, every part of you has been developed in an attempt to keep you safe. Even the parts you struggle with, dislike or even hate.
When entering in conversation with these parts we always end up in a conversation with fear and having found a way of self-preservation. Therefore these parts deserve love and compassion.
Choose Your Hard
Everyone has a different story and background. Some (a lot) more difficult than others.
Yet, no one has it easy. It seems like life is hard by default.
Which leaves the question, which hard can and do you want to deal with?
Yes, there’s pain and difficulty in taking a step towards trying to resolve and process, which is possible. This is scary, uncomfortable and hard.
But what is the price of the alternative?
Overall, my main observation was around the lack of “intraconnection”, as Dan Siegel calls it.
The idea that we are behaving as if we are independent from everything, even from our own bodies, and that we need to move towards “Mwe"(Me+We).
Yet, as I mentioned last year, we are also incredibly resilient, this was also proven time and time again. It was an absolute honour to witness everyone I worked with so a huge thank you to you all!
The Experiences
This month I am running two 4-Hour workshops.
In person: 13th of January (2pm-6pm) @ Soma hOme - London Tickets here
Online: 20th of January (2pm-6pm) @ Zoom
Tickets here
You'll walk away with:
- An understanding of the Nervous System
- New Breathing Techniques
- A Personalised Daily Breathing Practice
- A full transformational breathwork experience
- A little gift and a BIG discount...
The first half of the session we’ll explore the science behind multiple breathing modalities with a central focus on 3 elements:
- Awareness
- Relaxation
- Activation
In addition we’ll combine the breath with some movement practices to make it resonate even more.
This will provide you with a deeper understanding of the nervous system and how we can improve our self regulation through the breath. By the end you will have the tools to develop your own short breathwork practices which you can apply to all kinds of contexts.
The second part of the session we'll be going on a breathwork journey using the conscious connected breath.
All guided by deep and powerful music as you lie down and drift away.
The breath has a unique quality to set anything that might be stuck in motion, it doesn’t care about the narratives we so often hold onto. It will figure out for itself where it needs to go and will process anything you are ready to let go off.
Afterwards we’ll take our time to deeply integrate, ending this adventurous journey together.
Since we also value connection a lot there will also a lot of opportunities to exchange experiences.
This will be a day full of fun, movement, music and simply being human!
Looking forward to breathing with you all!
★★★★★ “Really incredible experience - Recommending it to everyone I know now! Good for body, mind, and soul. I had a really powerful release of pent-up emotion. I totally get why it's becoming so popular.” - Kelley M
★★★★★ “Absolutely loved everything. Powerful, beautiful, expansive, and connecting. Will be booking another one soon!” - Jennifer
As always, if you have any questions about anything breath related, are interested in one on one breathwork in London or online, joining a group sessions or just want to have a chat please feel free to reach out or book in some time here: https://calendly.com/stevenebbers/30min-checkin
Enjoy the breath!
With warmth,
Steven from Breathlife
