The Breath Letter - #5
Dear Breather,
Breathe out deeply to prepare…and let the air flow back in. Here we go!
I’m writing this letter from Ericeira as I’m reflecting on 2 weeks of retreat facilitation.
Today I’ll be leaving this place, with tons of insights and reminders:
- The importance of high quality food - I forgot what a tomato can truly taste like.
- The impact of being in community - most of our difficulties developed in the presence of another person or a group. By being in a space where you can safely, fully, express yourself in the presence of a witness you teach your nervous system that the past is the past.
- The power of the breath - still surprised by how much clarity people can get from a deep breathing session.
That’s it! Now back to London - got some one on one slots available for the end of July and August so hit me up if this might work for you.
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The Breath
Partner Breathing:
A scary one….I know - but very powerful!
This exercise will help you reconnect to people, explore your boundaries and become more of who you are.
Relaxing the body and simply breathing is a form of authentic expression. We only do this when we feel safe - when we don’t feel safe the body tenses up and the breath changes accordingly.
So by relaxing the breath and the body whilst being witnessed, we are going through a corrective experience on a physical and emotional level. Showing ourselves just as we are.
Instructions:
Find a partner who is open to this exercise, maybe a friend, a family member or partner.
Sit across from each other and close your eyes.
Check in with how you feel.
Are you nervous, calm, excited, scared, or maybe even a combination of all of these?
Scan your body, and relax any muscles that are tense.
Pay specific attention to the tongue, jaws, shoulders, abdomen and pelvic floor.
Whenever you feel ready you both open the eyes.
See if you can stay with the process and avoid jokes, laughing or making a funny face.
Check in with yourself:
Am I comfortable with the distance between us?
Be as honest with yourself as possible and adjust accordingly.
Make eye contact with the other person, keep a soft gaze and relax into it.
Simply seeing the other person, without doing anything.
Simply being seen by the other person, without doing anything.
Continue to relax the body as it will most likely tense, whilst keeping eye contact.
From there start to breathe together in which ever way feels natural and see if you can find flow together.
If it helps, you can play some gentle music in the background.
Hold this for a couple of minutes or even longer, observe and inquire:
What is happening for me?
Am I predominantly looking at the other person or “busy” with being seen?
Can I switch this?
How does my body feel?
Are there certain parts of me I don’t want the other person to see?
Whenever you feel ready, you can close your eyes again. Coming back to yourself.
Open the eyes and exchange, what was that like?
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The Insights
Personal Development = “Mask Unwrapping”
Though I’m not good with languages I do really enjoy working with the true meaning of a word. Something that clicked for me this week was the true meaning of “Personal development”. I feel like these words are very casually thrown about these days and have some sort of quantitative quality to it in the West - acquiring more and more to add to our identity.
But if you look at the true meaning of the words it’s actually quite the opposite!
Personal comes from the word “Persona” which means “Mask”.
Development comes from “Desvelopemens” which means “Unrolling”
So if anything it's more about the unrolling of your masks, letting all your masks fall and showing what’s underneath. In Dutch, my native language, we use the word “ontwikkelen”, literally unwrapping.
This fully aligns with what is called the paradox of personal development:
The process of becoming more of who we already are as opposed to adding things we are not.
Routes to insight
There is no one size fits all. There simply isn’t. Potentially obvious, definitely inconvenient, but at the same time exciting. I was really reminded of this at the retreat.
We all process in different ways which means we need to explore different routes to insight.
What for some feels like total nonsense, feel deeply transformation for someone else.
So whichever tool you use, for yourself or with a client: remember that in the end all our approaches are simply routes to insight, routes to work with the nervous system and set it in motion.
So go explore! Dance, shake, move, use your voice, breathe fast, breathe calm and discover what works best for you.
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The Content
How to deal with stage freight
For those who feel nervous about public speaking. At the moment I feel quite comfortable in front of groups, a nice thing to observe. But this has been different. I remember my first big talk. 10 mins before I had to get on I completely froze. I’ve learned a lot since about how to deal with this and wrote a post about it.
Be Here Now - Book
This book is a true piece of art, in the most literal sense. I promise you, you have never seen a book like this. I read it at the beginning of my breathing training.
It’s a book for contemplation, a gift that keeps on giving.
Through the book you get a real insight into the mind of Ram Dass.
Malevich - Rapossa
An amazing song for some “deep clean” style breathing. I’ve learned that my approach to breathwork is actually rather calm and gentle, an approach I deeply believe in.
Yet, recently I had the pleasure of working with a couple of facilitators who use a little more pump and power. And I have to say, I really enjoyed it and saw this also can have a huge impact. So give it a go!
The Experiences
15th of July @Oru Space - East Dulwich - Breathwork Session
Such a beautiful space and happy to also facilitate “south of the river”.
Oru also has a really nice cafe for you to grab some lunch and hang out with the other participants.
Tickets here
19th of July @ Bless - Stoke Newington - Breathwork Class
I really enjoy these sessions since they’re very intimate. Max 6 people in a cosy space. Perfect for those who want to explore group breathwork in a safe container.
You also get a free Breathe. Card Deck with this one!
Tickets here
20th of July @ Bullerengue & Breath - Open House Hackney - Breatwork, Dance, Movement
I’m so excited for this one! I teamed up with Valeria and Esteban, who are two incredible people who are bringing their amazing practice and ritual from North-Colombia to East London. An evening of breathing, dancing, drumming, singing and community!
25th of July @ Hackney Wick - Breathwork Session
Breathwork Odyssey is back! I found a new, bigger and beautiful, venue in Hackney Wick for this breathwork session in London. These conscious connected group sessions tend to sell out so make sure you join on time if you’re in need of a deep breathing experience.
Tickets here
27th of July @ Fire + Alchemy - Shoreditch - Breathwork Class
In this session we’ll specifically focus on Self-worth in this calming venue.
Tickets here
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As always, if you have any questions about anything breath related, are interested in one on one breathwork in London or online, joining a group sessions or just want to have a chat please feel free to reach out or book in some time here.
Enjoy the breath!
With warmth,
Steven from Breathlife
